Modern Nursery rhymes

[rebbonk]

MARY HAD A LITTLE PIG,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little .

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........

Spoiler:

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

[pollyanna]

[RandomHero]

Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
1000 volts shot up its bum
and turned its wool to nylon

[pollyanna]

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

[rebbonk]

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

[pollyanna]

Jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
jill came down with 25 pounds
and it wasnt for carrying water.

[StevieG]

As a certain comedian said "You are awful, but I like you"
Every ones a cracker

[pollyanna]

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over the candle stick
Dear oh dear he should have jumped higher
Oh good gracious, great balls of fire.