He finds a nice brown bear, puts it in the sights of his rifle, and shoots it dead. There's a tap on his shoulder. He sees a black bear behind him.
"I didn't like that," says the black bear. "I'm gonna give you a choice. I can either maul you to death or have sex with you."
The man doesn't like his choices, but obviously chooses sex and gets raped by the black bear. He's sore for a few days, but once he recovers he goes back to Alaska, finds that same black bear, and shoots it dead with his rifle. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns to face a huge polar bear.
"I didn't like that," says the polar bear. "You want to die or you want to have sex with me?"
Again, the hunter accepts his fate and is raped by the bear. This sends him to the hospital, but eventually, he recovers, returns to Alaska, finds that polar bear and shoots it dead. There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see a gigantic grizzly bear.
Spoiler:
