Footie fans

(nothing in this section is to be taken seriously)

Footie fans

Postby rebbonk » Wed May 01, 2019 10:40 am

A Coventry fan , a Birmingham fan and a Villa fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi National Holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "today" is my first wife's birthday, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Villa fan was first in line (he had consumed the least), so he thought about it for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through it. The Villa fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying when the punishment was done.

The Brummie fan was next up (he almost finished a half a crate), and after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and he squealed like a pig

The Coventry fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of England, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", the Coventry fan replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asked.

Spoiler:
"Tie that Villa fan to my back!
Of course it'll fit; you just need a bigger hammer.
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Re: Footie fans

Postby Melisandre » Wed May 01, 2019 11:38 am

:lol:
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