Seeing a sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialled the first and explained our situation. After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said "I don't know what you expect me to do for you; I'm a psychologist".
"A psychologist?" I replied. "Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can't you help us?"
"Well," he finally responded in a measured tone.
Spoiler: