To prove to the wife I could be a responsible parent, I volunteered to babysit our four year old while she had a night at bingo. When she returned she was quizzing me like mad...
"Did you put him to bed by eight?"
"Yes."
"Did you give him supper?"
"Yes."
"Did he finish it all and drink his cup of milk?"
"Yes."
"Did you take him to the toilet before bed?"
"Yes."
"Did you help him brush his teeth properly?"
*sigh* "Yes."
"Even his bottom teeth?"
"Oh shit, no, sorry love." I said. "To be honest,