Family's anger over Coventry dad's missing ashes

[dutchman]

A bereaved son who has spent 21 years visiting a garden at Canley Crematorium to remember his dad has been told that his remains were not laid to rest there after all.



Even worse, John Strong fears he’ll never discover what became of his dad’s ashes – after a paperwork trail from more than 20 years ago led them nowhere.

John, aged 63, a painter and decorator, has made regular visits to the Rose Garden at the Coventry crematorium – where he believed his dad’s ashes had been scattered after his death in 1992.

When his mother died in April aged 94, John wanted her ashes to be scattered alongside her husband’s.

But as he began trying to make the arrangements, he was horrified to find out that it seemed the family’s wishes had not been observed in 1992 – and that his father’s ashes had in fact been lost.

He said: “When my mother passed away, we were told that her ashes could be scattered over the Peace Rose at Canley Crematorium only if the remains of a relative of hers had been put there, too.

“We told them that her husband’s ashes had been scattered there, but then we received a letter from Coventry Bereavement Services telling us that they have no record of my father’s ashes being scattered there as we instructed.”

John and his family have spent months trying to investigate the matter, but have now drawn a blank and have not been able to find out where the ashes were taken.

He fears now he will never know the truth.

Conflicting records from the funeral directors back in 1992 show that they did not take the ashes from the crematorium – although the crematorium’s records from that year show that the remains had been collected.

Dad-of-three John, who lives in Swallows Green, Hinckley, said: “We’re banging our heads against a brick wall.

“We’ve been going to the crematorium for years, because that’s where we told them to scatter my father’s ashes. That’s what he wanted.

“At the time, my sister and I did not want to be present – I regret that now.

“I still have my mum’s ashes at home – I can’t scatter them because I don’t know where my dad’s remains are.

“I wonder if the funeral directors understand that.

“I truly thought that if it was just an error or an accident, it would be sorted within days – for example, if two urns had been mixed up at the time.

“But it’s been going on and on, and we’re looking for records from 20 years ago now, so it’s very difficult.”

He said staff at Canley Crematorium had been extremely helpful and sympathetic to the family’s plight, sending them all the documents they could find on the case.

But he added: “But we still don’t know where my father’s ashes are.

“It’s especially difficult for us because, for the first time since my dad’s death, we have nowhere to visit to remember him.”

[dutchman]

Coventry dad's ashes found after 20 years lost in funeral director’s storage room



The missing ashes of a Coventry dad have turned up in a funeral director’s storage room – after more than 20 years.

On Thursday the Telegraph reported how bereaved son John Strong had spent months trying to find out what happened to his father’s remains.

John, 63, had been horrified to discover that his mother’s ashes could not be scattered alongside her husband’s in the Rose Garden at Canley Crematorium after her death last April – because Roye Strong’s remains had never been put there at all.

It meant the family had been paying their respects at the wrong place for more than two decades.

John and his sister had not wished to attend the ceremony they planned in 1992 because it would have been too upsetting.

But discovering that their father’s ashes had been mislaid was the worst thing of all.

After months of trying to get to the bottom of the mix-up John said he’d been stunned to get a call from the funeral directors Ison & Sons, in Binley Road, to say they had found Roye’s ashes.

John, who lives in Hinckley, said: “We’ve been through months of hell.

“Suddenly, I get a call out of the blue from Ison & Sons, saying that they’ve found the ashes. At first I thought it was a joke, it just doesn’t seem right.

“After all, it’s not just a bag of stuff, ashes are something that’s personal. You’d think they’d have at least looked properly when we first asked.’’

The discovery means that John, his wife and three children can now lay Phyllis Strong’s remains to rest, too. John didn’t feel able to scatter his mother’s ashes until he knew what had become of his father’s.

John said: “I’m going to need a bit of time to get my head around this – I’m burying both my parents at the same time, now.”

A statement from Ison & Sons said: “Like John Strong, we were very surprised to hear that the cremated remains of his father had not been scattered and we had no indication to the contrary until it was brought to our attention a significant number of years later.

“An unmarked box has now been discovered in a closed-off secure area which is seldom accessed by the current team and was therefore not searched previously. Within the box, we discovered a set of cremated remains which we have now been able to identify as belonging to the Strong family.

“We are really pleased that we are now able to return the missing remains to Mr Strong, as we recognise the distress that this must have caused him and his family during this period of uncertainty.”