American tourist

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American tourist

Postby rebbonk » Mon Nov 15, 2010 3:22 am

American tourist visiting the picturesque North, and is somewhat intrigued by what one of the locals is doing. The chap has a metal tray with a large lump of something, and he's whiling away the time pulling away small amounts of matter from it, rolling it up into small pellets and putting them into little bags.

Tourist: Hi.
Local: Aye.
Tourist: What is you're doin' here, is this some sorta cottage industry or somethin'?
Local: Aye.
Tourist: Er, hi... Is this a traditional Lancashire craft?
Local: Aye.
Tourist: Howdi.... So what are these things?
Local: Learnin' pills.
Tourist: Learnin' pills, huh?
Local: Aye. They mek' yer right clever these learnin' pills.
Tourist: Real clever, huh? So how many of these things would I need to be real clever?
Local: You? I reckon 'bout fifty.
Tourist. Fifty?! And how much are these goddamn things?
Local: Ten pound each.
Tourist: Jesus, man, that's almost a thousand bucks!!
Local: Aye, but they mek' yer right clever these learnin' pills.
Tourist: (handing over a monkey) So what do I do with these?
Local: You put 'em all in yer mouth, chew 'em up, and swallow 'em.
...
...
...
Tourist: Yuck!!! Tastes like sheep shit!
Local:
Spoiler:
Aye, you're learnin'.
Of course it'll fit; you just need a bigger hammer.
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