Boris speaks...

[rebbonk]

Change is good” said Boris.

“Can’t argue with that” say the UK public “but now we’ve used all of ours to pay the gas bill”

“Take these” said Boris, proffering £4.5 billion worth of unsuitable PPE, “you can burn these to keep warm, s*d the climate change activists and clean air fetishists and when you’ve used it all up, I will have miles of red tape for you to burn.”

“Thanks” replied the UK public, “have this P45 in exchange”

If only Carlsberg did happy endings.