Please tell me...

(nothing in this section is to be taken seriously)

Please tell me...

Postby dutchman » Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:22 pm

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there
are four billion stars; but have to check when you say
the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest,
but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what colour bubble
bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a piece of string a
dozen times with the vacuum cleaner, then reach down and pick it up, examine it, then put down to give the vacuum cleaner one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the
end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed
light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with the shopping trolley and then apologises for doing so, but why do we say, "It's alright?" Well it isn't alright, so why don't we say, "That really hurt and why don't you watch where your going?"

Why is it whenever you attempt to catch something
that's falling off the table, you always manage to
knock something else over?

In the winter, why do we try to keep the house as
warm as in the summer when we complained about
the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Why do people moan incessantly about the Telegraph forum but refuse to do anything about it?
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