Men of the cloth

(no racial sterotyping or sexually explicit language please)

Men of the cloth

Postby rebbonk » Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:59 am

A Catholic priest, a Methodist pastor, a Baptist minister, and an Episcopalian rector were attending an ecumenical conference. After the conferences were done and they had supper, they were relaxing in the hotel restaurant, talking.

The Catholic priest said "You know, it's great to get to know one another's theology across sectarian boundaries like this. But I think it would be even better if we shared some of our human side. Don't any of you have any bad habits? You know, confession is good for the soul, and we'd surely build mutual tolerance, knowing what faults we all share. How about it?"

The Baptist minister said "I'd have to say that that's a fine idea. I've been carrying a burden for a long time, and I'd be glad to finally get it off my heart. You see, friends, I'm a terrible, terrible drunkard. I've got a flask in every jacket and gown I have. Half the time when the secretary tells callers that I'm out tending to my congregation, I'm really face down on my desk in my office, out cold. I can't tell you the number of baptisms, weddings, funerals, counselling sessions that I've skipped because I was absolutely plastered!"

The Episcopalian rector nodded gravely and said. "Well, that can't be worse than me. I'm a terrible, terrible adulterer. I'm completely out of control! If a woman in my parish can fog a mirror, I'll come on to her. I've got the back-door keys to half the homes in my congregation, and my office couch folds out into a bed. I don't even like to have my picture taken with the children's Sunday school classes!"

The Methodist minister heaved a sigh, and said "I'm afraid I've got that beat. I'm a terrible, terrible embezzler. I'm no good with money, and I've got a taste for high living that my salary can't satisfy. Each church I've served at could have paid down their mortgage like you wouldn't believe if not for me and my spendthrift ways. What a hypocrite I've been, brow-beating my hard-working parishioners to pledge more each year, while I spent their gifts hand over fist!"

The Catholic priest steepled his fingers and bowed his head. He said nothing.

Presently one of the others said "Well? Don't you have any skeletons to share?"

The priest shrugged and looked up. "Well...
Spoiler:
I'm a terrible, terrible gossip".
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