You know you're from Coventry when...

[dutchman]

You know you're from Coventry when...

1. You try to pronounce words with the letter ‘T’ in them and find that you can’t (letter, mitigating)!

2. Your Dad, Grandad or Uncle have been made redundant by a car manufacturing company!

3. Your school involved either a small farm in the grounds, a castle ruin or a mosque!

4. You had fights with your neighbouring schools using anything stolen from a building site!

5. The cinema you went to as a child became a university!

6. The Coliseum is not a round building of ancient wonder in Rome (although you swear it has been there forever)!

7. You passed your driving test mainly because you didn’t go on the ringroad!

8. You support Coventry City Football Club because they’re the team you can see from your bedroom window!

9. A big night out on the town means a choice between just three nightclubs!

10. You consider Shakespeare, Clive Owen and Philip Larkin to be near relatives!

11. You know your responsible for the best watch-making this country has ever seen despite there being no museum to prove this!

12. You grew up thinking an apprenticeship into a car company would have you made for life!

13. You’ve visited Coventry Cathedral and sketched the windows on at least 5 school trips!

14. You used to go the Round Cafe in the centre of town with your Gran, quite possibly whilst wearing a shell suit and looking forward to a trip to the Transport Museum!

15. You know that fashion statements are divided between the Chav (found hanging around bus shelters in the evening), the Goth (found hanging around statues of naked ladies), the Camp (found mostly in the only gay bar in the city) and the Coliseum Indie look (found loitering nervously with satchels inside the Coliseum)!

16. You think words like "barn cake" and "cob" make people sound mentally ill!

18. You've got into fights... end of!

19. You’ve had to replace the horn in your car at least once!

20. You know not to travel on the number 13 bus to Willenhall at night without company, weaponry or a desire not to passively inhale cannabis!

21. If you were travelling abroad and explaining where you lived to a stranger, you’d say “near London”!

22. Fishy Moore’s make the best fish and chips you’ve ever tasted!

23. Chinese people like your universities (plural, cos you have two), Kosovans like your fountains and mostly Polish people like working in your hospitals!

24. You don’t like one of anything! You need three spires, two universities and five parks without safe lighting! However, one blitz is quite enough!

25. People from Birmingham consider you “unfriendly” just because you cringe at their accent!

26. You know you've had a good night out by the amount of smoke left to inhale off your head the next morning!

27. Your Dad would not accept your lover/fiancee if they were an Aston Villa fan, t-total, or could not talk about football, Top Gear and Father Ted in the garden at family parties!

28. Your car window or house window has been in need of a temporary cardboard replacement at one time!

29. The police have phoned you at 3am telling you your car is smashed up and abandoned in Stoke Aldermoor and not outside your house where you left it!

30. Your parents believe any major storyline will be covered best in the Evening Telegraph!

31. You’ve had at least one attempted mugging by a person younger than you, and laughed in their face!

32. You’ve invited friends, cousins or partners down for a weekend and used the phrases “It's crap” and “There’s not much to see”!

33. You've heard there's a Coventry Castle but have no idea where it is, how it went and why Mary Queen of Scots was there!

34. You can see the 60's did more damage to the City Centre than the Germans!

35. You think the bridge outside Millenium Point looks like a giant slinky!

36. You were born at Walsgrave hospital, quite possibly in the corridor!

[pollyanna]

Good one Dutchy

[rebbonk]

No. 36 is for softies! Real Coventry kids were born at Gulson Rd hospital or at home.

The rest is true, but the bus into Willenhall I used to use was the 22. - Getting old aren't I?