Little Old Lady: I am 76 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, What happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 20 years ago.
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: He began to touch my breasts.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady: No, I certainly did not!
Defence Attorney: Why-ever not?
Little Old Lady: His touching made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Lady: Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled,
Spoiler: