The nurse starts with certain basics.
'How much do you weigh?' she asks.
'135,' I say.
The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.
The nurse asks, 'Your height?'
'5 foot 4,' I say.
The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2".
She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
'Of course it's high!' I scream. 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'
Spoiler: