Telling porkies

(nothing in this section is to be taken seriously)

Telling porkies

Postby rebbonk » Wed Apr 14, 2010 4:14 am

DAD - Son, come in here, we need to talk.

SON - What's up, Dad?

DAD - There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?

SON - I don't believe so; if I understand the definition of "scratch the car"; then I can say, truthfully, that I didn’t scratch the car.

DAD - Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch?

SON - Well, as I've said before, I have no recollection of scratching the car. While it is true that I did take the car out last night, I did not scratch it.

DAD - But your sister, Monica, has told me she saw you back the car against the concrete post at the end of the driveway, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. So again I'll ask you, yes or no, did you scratch the car?

SON - Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. Well, you see, I understood you to mean did "I" scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that I did not scratch the car.

DAD - Are you trying to tell me you didn't drive the car into the post?

SON - Well, you see, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the post, though that was clearly not my intent.

DAD - So you are then saying that you did hit the post?

SON - No, that's not my statement. I'll refer you back to my original statement that I did not scratch the car.

DAD - But the car did hit the post, and the car did get scratched as a result of this contact?

SON - Well, yes, I suppose you could look at it that way.

DAD - So you lied to me when you said you did not scratch the car?

SON - No. no, that's not correct. Your question was "Did I scratch the car?" From a strict legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car... the post did... I was merely present when the scratching occurred. So my answer of "No" when you asked "Did I scratch the car" was legally correct.

DAD - Where in the heck did you learn to be such a liar?

SON –
Spoiler:
From our soon-to-be ex-PM, Gordon Brown.
Of course it'll fit; you just need a bigger hammer.
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