COVENTRY MESSAGE BOARD

Three men arrive at the pearly gates and line up waiting for admission.

St Peter, clipboard ready, turns to the first man and says, "What's your name, and how did you get here?"

The man replies, "My name's Tommy, sir, and I was a soldier in battle."

"Ah, right,! said St Peter, ticking off a line on his clipboard, "and you were killed in battle, were you?"

"Yes sir, that's right, sir. Shot in the neck and killed instantly, I was, sir."

"Very well. Bad luck. Just stand over there, if you wouldn't mind."

Turning to the next man, St Peter asks, "What about you?"

"I'm Terry, and I was an electrician working on a shower fitting."

"I see, I see. And I presume you were electrocuted, were you?"

"That's right." says Terry.

St Peter ticked another box. "They say water and electricity don't mix, but they do mix very well, don't they! Never mind: if you could stand next to Tommy, please."

Finally, St Peter turns to the last man. "And who are you?"

"I'm Bob, and I was a bouncer."

"Bob, eh?" said St Peter, flicking through his notes. "I can't seem to find any details on you. Were you killed by a clubber crazed on a cocktail of drugs, stabbing you in the gut?"

"No."

"Were you attacked by a rival group of bouncers whom your boss had angered?"

"Nope."

"Well, um, did you have a heart attack after the rigours of years of night work finally took their toll?"

"Er, no."

"Well, how did you die, then?"