Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.
"Ach, it's going to be grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night...
Archie nods approvingly.
"Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that! "And what's the tartan?" Archie then enquires.
"Och," says Jock,