New parishoner requirements

(nothing in this section is to be taken seriously)

New parishoner requirements

Postby rebbonk » Mon Jan 04, 2010 3:46 am

Three couples -- an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple, and a young newly-wed couple -- wanted to join a church.

The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain for the two weeks?"

The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.

The pastor goes to the middle-aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain for the two weeks?"

The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.

The pastor then goes to the newly-wed couple and asks, 'Well, were you able to abstain for two weeks?"

"Well sorry, Pastor, we were not able to go without for the two weeks," the young man replied.

"What happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"That's OK," said the young man,
Spoiler:
"We're not welcome at Safeway any more either."
Of course it'll fit; you just need a bigger hammer.
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