Blondes...

(no racial sterotyping or sexually explicit language please)

Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu May 31, 2012 9:48 am

I said to my blonde girlfriend, "You sent me a text earlier that had 'BTW' in it. What does that stand for?"

She said, "It stands for by the way."

I said, "Oh, I see."

She said,
Spoiler:
"What does that stand for?"
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu Jun 14, 2012 9:23 am

A flying saucer landed at a petrol station on a lonely country road.

The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft.

As the station owner stood and stared in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered.

"Yes," said the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"

"Yes," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"

"Yes," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"

The blonde attendant rolled her eyes.

"Good grief, boss! I've been working here for six years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means
Spoiler:
"Unleaded Fuel Only.”
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Mon Jun 18, 2012 8:31 am

A blonde is out walking in the forest when she is attacked by two men. Suddenly, an avenging hero in a black mask and flowing black cape jumps out of the bushes waving a sword and successfully chases off the two men. The blonde is thrilled to bits, falling instantly in love with her gallant rescuer.

"I hope you will never forget who rescued you," says the hero as he uses his sword to draw a large 'Z' on the forest floor.

"Oh thank you!" says the blonde. "Thank you,
Spoiler:
Superman!"
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri Jun 29, 2012 6:13 am

Whenever my blonde girlfriend starts feeling blue...


I tell her
Spoiler:
"Just breathe."
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Brick

Postby Spuffler » Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:09 pm

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
Spoiler:
A: The brick doesn't follow you home after you lay it.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:14 am

I was on the phone to my blonde wife, ''I'm near home love, put the kettle on?''

After a 10 second pause, I said, ''Hello, you still there?''

''Yeah,'' she replied,
Spoiler:
''I don't think the kettle wants to talk right now.''
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:10 am

Two blondes are walking down the Street, one blonde says look at that dog with one eye.

Spoiler:
The other blonde puts her hand over her eye and replies, “Where?”
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:40 am

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?


They had gone to see
Spoiler:
'Closed for the Winter'
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:17 am

Two Blondes rob a bank and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each.

After a while they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?"

"Half a million."

"Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?"

"I bought a house. How about your sack?"

"Bah... it was full of bills."

"And what did you do with them?"
Spoiler:
"Err well... little by little, I'm paying them off."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:04 am

A Blonde calls British Airways and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San London to New York City?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says,
Spoiler:
and hangs up.
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