Blondes...

'Julie' got up on stage at the comedy club:

"What's the difference between a buffalo and a Dyson?"

"You can't vacuum your carpet with a buffalo!"

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

Spoiler:

Ask her to count the steps on an escalator.

A Blondie and a brunette walk to a cave. The Blondie goes first.

The brunette asks ''is it dark''


The Blondie says ''I don't know,

Spoiler:

I can't see?'

My blonde girlfriend was attempting a crossword.

She asked, "Any ideas what this is? I'm stuck. Opposite of easy, four letters starts with an H and ends with a D."

"That's Hard." I smiled.

"I know" She replied,

Spoiler:

"I've been stuck on it for hours."

I was talking to a blonde woman in the pub last night and she didn't believe me when I said, "I once caught a 10 foot fish whilst fishing."

"You can't fool me," she giggled,

Spoiler:

"fish don't have feet."

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest,and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants,I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise.

Spoiler:

So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

A blonde stopped by a pizza shop one night and ordered a medium pizza.

The Italian owner asked "How would you like that cut, in six or four pieces?"

After some thought, she answered,

"Better cut it in four,

Spoiler:

I don't think I can eat six pieces!"

A blonde applicant was filling out a job application.

When she came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" she wrote, "No."

The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"

The blond answered it anyway: .........................

Spoiler:

"Never got caught."

Two blonde women are driving around looking for somewhere to have a picnic.

One blonde says, "Lets have our picnic over there under that tree."

The other replies,"No! I think we should have it in the middle of the road."

They argued and came to a decision to have it in the middle of the road. Soon afterwards a car came racing towards them, swerved off the road and smashed into the tree.

"See," says one blonde,

Spoiler:

"if we were over there we would be dead right now."

A Blonde went to the Hospital to donate blood.

The nurse asked "What type are you?"

The Blonde replied

Spoiler:

"I'm an outgoing cat-lover"