Blondes...

a blonde woman in involved an a traffic accindednt. when the paramedic arrives he asks her

"where are you bleeding from?"

she replies "hillfields"

a blonde walks into a library and asks the librian

"can i have fish and chips twice please?"

the bemused librarian says "er...this is a library, love"

so the the blonde whispers "can i have fish chips twice please?"

a blonde walks into a greengrocers and asks for a pound of potatoes. the shoppkeeper tells her

"its all changed now love, thanks to the bloody EU, its kilos now"

so the blonde says "in that case can i have a pound of kilo's please?"

(I'm glad none of my sisters knows how to use the internet)

I asked my blonde girlfriend to boil the kettle.

Big mistake,

Spoiler:

I found it boiling in a saucepan full of water.

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said,

Spoiler:

"No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."

Blonde: "I need some batteries for my camera."

Me: "What does it take?"

Blonde:

Spoiler:

"Duhhhh Pictures."

What do you call a blonde at university?

Spoiler:

A visitor

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette

Spoiler:

- the blonde would have to stop for directions!

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

Spoiler:

"I won her in a raffle!"