Blondes...

(no racial sterotyping or sexually explicit language please)

Re: Blondes...

Postby Euphoria » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:38 am

a blonde woman in involved an a traffic accindednt. when the paramedic arrives he asks her

"where are you bleeding from?"

she replies "hillfields"
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Re: Blondes...

Postby Euphoria » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:40 am

a blonde walks into a library and asks the librian

"can i have fish and chips twice please?"

the bemused librarian says "er...this is a library, love"

so the the blonde whispers "can i have fish chips twice please?"
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Re: Blondes...

Postby Euphoria » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:42 am

a blonde walks into a greengrocers and asks for a pound of potatoes. the shoppkeeper tells her

"its all changed now love, thanks to the bloody EU, its kilos now"

so the blonde says "in that case can i have a pound of kilo's please?"
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Re: Blondes...

Postby dutchman » Wed Apr 20, 2011 4:31 pm

:rolling:

(I'm glad none of my sisters knows how to use the internet)
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri May 27, 2011 5:11 am

I asked my blonde girlfriend to boil the kettle.

Big mistake,
Spoiler:
I found it boiling in a saucepan full of water.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:36 am

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said,
Spoiler:
"No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:47 am

Blonde: "I need some batteries for my camera."

Me: "What does it take?"

Blonde:
Spoiler:
"Duhhhh Pictures."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sat Jun 25, 2011 5:16 am

What do you call a blonde at university?
Spoiler:
A visitor
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu Aug 25, 2011 4:29 am

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette
Spoiler:
- the blonde would have to stop for directions!
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu Aug 25, 2011 4:31 am

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,
Spoiler:
"I won her in a raffle!"
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