Blondes...

(no racial sterotyping or sexually explicit language please)

Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu Dec 16, 2010 3:33 am

There was a blonde driving down the centre of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please."

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."

The blonde then reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license; I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license, "See? It says so right here:
Spoiler:
'Tear along the Dotted Line'."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sat Dec 25, 2010 4:27 am

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

'No woman,' said one man, scornfully, 'can keep a secret.'

'I don't know about that,' answered a blonde woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.'

'You'll let it out some day,' the man insisted.

'I hardly think so!' responded the blonde lady.
Spoiler:
'When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.'
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:11 am

A blonde walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

"Why would you want something like that?" asks the librarian.
Spoiler:
"I want to kill my husband" she replies.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:21 am

What do you call a blonde at a College?

Spoiler:
The cleaner.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:00 am

Q, Why do blonde's leave empty milk bottle's in the fridge?

A,
Spoiler:
In case anybody asks for black coffee!
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Re: Blondes...

Postby Island Baz » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:42 pm

One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off.
With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down.
Just as the blonde was about to give up hope and was losing consciousness...

Spoiler:
……..The Tesco manager came out and unplugged the horse.
A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match when it came to kick boxing!
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Wed Mar 09, 2011 4:15 am

A blonde driving the wrong way down a one way street gets pulled over by a cop who says "Didn't you see the arrows?"

The blonde says
Spoiler:
"I didn't even see the Indians."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:02 am

Why do so many blonde girls insist on dying their roots?
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:44 am

The veterinarian told a blonde that her dog needed a lot more exercise.

"You need to make sure the dog runs around, the doctor said.

Try playing a game of fetch the ball."

"I can't play fetch with my dog," the blonde said.

"Why not?" the doctor asked.

"Because," she replied,
Spoiler:
"He can't throw."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby Euphoria » Wed Apr 20, 2011 8:34 am

a blind man walks into a pub, orders a beer and sits down. after a few minutes he hears 2 people sit next to him.

"hey, do you want to hear my blonde joke?" he asks them

a womans voice pipes up and say "er...before you tell that joke i better tell you im a blonde woman and im a black belt in kung fu, and my mate here is also blonde and she is an army instructor. do you still want to tell that joke?"

the blind man thinks for a second before saying

"not if i have to tell it twice, no"
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