Blondes...

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburettors."

She asks,

Spoiler:

"How often do I have to do that?"

I saw a blonde reading a paper and I asked her what she was reading.

She told me that she was checking the obituaries

Spoiler:

to see if she died yet.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought "love handles" referred to her ears?

Did you hear about the blonde student that went to library and borrowed a book called "How to Hug"?

She got back to the dorm

Spoiler:

and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?

A:

Spoiler:

From eating with forks.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?

Spoiler:

She was throwing away all the W's.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A:

Spoiler:

There are some things even a blonde won't do.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll Take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'

The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'

'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, so he decided to buy her a cell phone. She was all excited. She loved her phone. He explained to her all the features on the phone.

The next day she went shopping. Her phone rang, and it was her husband calling.

"Hi, hon," he said. "How do you like your new phone?"

She replied "I just love it. It's so small, and your voice is clear as a bell. But there's one thing I don't understand."

"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.

Spoiler:

"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,

Spoiler:

"You ARE on the other side."