Blondes...

(no racial sterotyping or sexually explicit language please)

Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sun Apr 10, 2016 10:45 am

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?
Spoiler:
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Mon Apr 11, 2016 11:07 am

Me and my blonde girlfriend were walking in a field when she asked "What's that?"

I said "It's a cow pat."

She said "Get lost, a cow's got legs.....
Spoiler:
and my name's Sandra."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Thu Jun 30, 2016 10:42 am

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain.

"I would like to buy this TV" she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes" he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV".

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes" he replied.

"Darn, he recognised me" she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said "I would like to buy this TV".

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes" he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

Spoiler:
"Because that's a microwave" he replied.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri Jul 01, 2016 10:12 am

A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition.

The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing hope, the blonde finally arrived.

The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered, "I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls
Spoiler:
used their arms."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sun Jul 10, 2016 9:18 am

Two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks.

The first said, "You know, those look like deer tracks."

The other said, "No, silly, those are moose tracks."

They were still arguing about it
Spoiler:
when a train hit them.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:52 am

A doctor goes into a restaurant and notices that the blonde waitress keeps scratching her hands.

"Do you have eczema?" he asks.

Spoiler:
"If it's not on the menu," says the waitress, "we haven't got it."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Tue Sep 13, 2016 10:34 am

A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.

"How do they feel?" asked the sales clerk.

"Well, they feel a bit tight," replied the blonde.

The assistant promptly bent down and had a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet.

"Try pulling the tongue out," suggested the clerk.

Spoiler:
“Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” she said.
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:43 am

A blonde was mowing the lawn in her garden and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.

She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to Tesco!

Why Tesco?

HELLOOOOOOOOO!.... Tesco is
Spoiler:
the largest re-tailer in the UK !
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:44 am

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"

The other replied,
Spoiler:
"I don't know; I can't see."
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Re: Blondes...

Postby rebbonk » Mon Nov 21, 2016 12:35 pm

A blonde starts work at her new job as an assistant in a creche.

A few hours into her first day the other girls take a break and leave the new girl to watch the children.

"What shall I do with them" she says.

"Its easy, just tell them nursery rhymes"

5 minutes later the blonde knocks on the office door with a puzzled look on her face.

"what's the matter" said the others

Spoiler:
"Rhymes with what?" said the blonde
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