The politician asked to hear a rendering of keep the red flag flying.
The reporter asked that the beheading to be televised so that even when he was dead his face would be on TV.
The trooper asked to be kicked three times up the ar$e.
This was carried out. As the last kick landed, the trooper pulled a hidden 9mm pistol out of his smock shot three terrorists dead, grabbed a fallen AK47, and killed the rest of the terrorists.
The other two were amazed, and asked why he requested to be kicked three times before drawing the gun?
"Because," said the trooper, "when we get back to the UK
Spoiler:
