"Have you ever done anything in your life of particular merit?", St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing", the Scotsman replied.
"On a trip to the outskirts of Glasgow, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, then ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground.
I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the
out of all of you!' "St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
Spoiler:
