Going to kill her...

[rebbonk]

I had grown sick of watching my wife get fatter and fatter over the years, so decided it was time I murdered her.

I hid behind the kitchen door, ready to stab her to death when she waddled in to get yet more food.

I didn't have too long to wait.

After just two minutes, the porker swung the door open, only to be confronted by me, massive knife in my hand.

"Oh my god!!" She screamed,

Spoiler:

"Are we having cake?"