"Where the hell have you been?" screamed my wife, as I walked in at 2am this morning.
"I've just been playing Fifa at my mates house." I replied.
"Oh really?" she yelled, "You stink of perfume and you have lipstick all around your mouth."
I said, "It's actually ketchup and I sprayed the perfume accidentally thinking it was aftershave."
"Fair enough," she replied,