Money

[rebbonk]

I was arguing with my wife earlier about our finances when she said, "You're a lazy git. If it wasn't for me there wouldn't be any food in the cupboards. And if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be sitting on that leather couch watching that 50 inch flat screen TV! In fact, if it wasn't for my money this house wouldn't be here!"

I said, "If it wasn't for your money,

Spoiler:

I wouldn't be here!"