In prison... (bit naughty)

It was my first day in a Russian prison, and I got put in a cell with this absolutely massive Russian dude who made it very clear he was going to have sex with me.

I said, "Look, if this is going to have to happen, can we at least do it with Vaseline?"

To my horror, he then turned and shouted down the hall, "Hey, he wants

Spoiler:

a threesome... come get in here, Vasilly!"