Man goes into a pub, and gets a drink. As he sits down with it he notices there is a terrible smell in the pub. Then he notices there is a Disgusting Old Codger at one of the other tables.
He goes over to the Disgusting Old Codger and says "I say, that smell, is it you?"
"Yes", grunts the Disgusting Old Codger in a Steptoe voice.
"Well what is it?"
"Crapped meself."
"Well, why don't you go home and clean yourself up?"