Close to the truth?

To: BP, Shell, Centrica, Eon, SSE, EDF, Scottish Power
Subject: Most beneficial and profitable relationship

Dearest God-fearing friends,

I am Kwasi Kwarteng, the recently appointed and most powerful and most excellent UK Chancellor of Her Majesty's most abundant Exchequer and I have been authorised to release the sum of ONE HUNDRED BILLION POUNDS STERLING free money to deposit into your bank accounts.

In order to release these funds, I require immediately a deposit and authorisation fee transferred to the bank account of my employer, The Conservative Party.

Payment accepted in all major currencies including Russian Roubles, Cayman Islands Dollars and Bitcoin.

I will be expecting to hear from you,

Kwasi Kwarteng