My wife...

My wife dresses to kill.

Spoiler:

She also cooks the same way.

My wife and I were happy for twenty five years.

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Then we met.

My wife is just like my mother. I told this to my father. He replied,

Spoiler:

"So what do you want? sympathy?"

"My wife's an angel!" friend:

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"You're lucky, mine's still alive.