Sat Dec 25, 2010 3:25 am
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. '
The doctor said, 'It's old age.'
The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. '
The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'