Burglars

Paddy gets woken up in the middle of the night by his wife.

"Paddy! I think there's someone downstairs!"

Paddy goes to investigate and returns a few minutes later.

"Well? What was it?"

"A couple of burglars," replied Paddy.

"What did you do?"

Spoiler:

"I told them to keep the bl**dy noise down or I'll be calling the police."