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(nothing in this section is to be taken seriously)
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Drink driving?

Tue Dec 10, 2019 11:44 am

The traffic police spotted a man staggering towards his car and opening the driver's door.

They stopped and confronted him.  "Excuse me, sir, but I hope you are not intending to drive the car?"  

"Of course I am, officer" he slurred.
Spoiler:
"I'm in no state to walk".
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