There once was a woman with an embarrassing flatulence problem. She passed gas out of every orifice in her body, continuously. When she walked in the shops she farted, when she spoke to someone and opened her mouth, she would literally fart through her mouth. It was ridiculous.
One day her daughter said to her "Mom, it can't go on like this, you'll have to go and see a doctor about this". So she agreed, naturally non-verbally at this point, for fear of blasting her daughter with a noxious gas cloud in her face.
So the poor lady goes to the doctor. She steps into his surgery, and whilst trying to explain to him what's going on, the symptoms show up and he can see (smell/hear) what's wrong without her explaining too much further.
"OK ma'm" he says to her. "Remove all your clothes and go to the bed for me. If you don't mind bending over forward for me, whilst I get ready".
The woman does as he says, gets undressed completely, and whilst stark naked, bends over his bed with her ass up in the air, farting and burping all the while.
She looks over to see what he's doing. To her horror, he picks up a huge long, thick pole with a silver hook on the end of it, and makes his way in her direction with a not-too-nice look on his face.
"Oh my God!" she screams. "Are you going to shove that pole right up my ar$e?"
The doctor says to her "No,