Anniversary treat

I took my wife out to a swanky restaurant for our anniversary. We had smoked salmon, lobster bearnaise, croquembouche, a bottle of champagne, the works. Afterwards, over brandy, she slipped her shoe off and started running her foot up my leg under the table.

"When we get home," she purred sexily, "I'm going to do that special thing for you that you like so much... You know, that thing I used to do for you when we were courting that used to drive you wild..."

"S*d off," I said.

Spoiler:

"I couldn't eat steak and kidney pudding after all that."