Roy, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied Roy. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge *ahem*. Anyway, I went up and sure enough there was this big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge *ahem*. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half".
"I see" said his wife "but how did you get the black eye?"