Simon has no interest

Simon's parents were in despair when he flunked out of school.

They tried sending him to every school in the city -- private, public, progressive, military academy -- but he took no interest.

Finally they tried a Catholic school.

When Simon came home with his first report card, his parents were surprised to see a straight 'A' report.

"What happened?" they asked him.

"Well," he replied,

Spoiler:

"When I saw that poor guy nailed to the cross everywhere I looked, I knew they meant business!"