Stumpy!

Stumpy was visiting a friend in the hospital.

He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator.

A lady said to him with a snarl "Sir, there's no smoking in here".

Stumpy said "I'm not smoking lady".

"But you have a cigar in your mouth" the woman said.

"Lady" Stumpy answered

Spoiler:

"I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not riding a bl**dy horse!"