On benefits

Paddy and Mick are on incapacity benefit claiming to be deaf.

They are sent for a check up.

Paddy says, "Crafty b*ggers caught me out, they told me to close the door on my way out and I did."

Mick replies, "They tried to do the same thing to me, but I was too smart for them.

Spoiler:

I told them to shut the bl**dy door themselves!"