Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with the vicars wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after church is finished for me?"
Mike doesn't like it, but being A friend, he agrees.
After mass, he starts talking to the vicar, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the vicar gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.
Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the vicar, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."
The vicar smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You'd better hurry home now.