Skirt

"Does it make my bum look big?" Asked my wife, trying on the new skirt I'd bought her for Christmas.

"Of course not darling, that skirt looks great, I love that skirt! That is, in fact why I bought it for you!"

"Oh thank you Sweetheart!" She gushed.

Spoiler:

"-So I'll be blowed if I'm going to sit here in silence while you blame that skirt, for your fat butt!"