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(nothing in this section is to be taken seriously)
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In the pub

Tue Feb 17, 2015 11:33 am

The loudmouth drunken yob in the pub walked past and, gesturing at my wife, said to me "Don't fancy your bird mister!"

My wife said, "are you going to let him get away with that?"

So I yelled after him "Oi mate, how dare you call my wife a 'bird'....
Spoiler:
can you imagine anything that fat getting up in the air?"
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