I lost both my ear lobes when they were ripped off in a terrible car crash.
My doctor put me in touch with a consultant plastic surgeon who offered me an 'ear transplant' which I accepted.
When the bandages came off, I noticed that, apart from the obvious scars, each ear had three piercings.
"Did you transplant a woman's ears onto me?" I asked.
"Yes replied the surgeon, but an ear's an ear.....Has your hearing improved?"
"My hearing is perfect"' I replied.....