"Help me please, I'm desperate" she said to the person on the end of the line.
"What is wrong madam?" asked the member of staff.
"I'm incontinent" came the reply.
"I'm sorry madam" replied the kindly lady, "but you should contact the hospital, we deal with people who are depressed and suicidal".
"Right" screeched the caller, "if you don't help me I'm going to kill myself".
"Okay, okay" soothed the lady telephonist, "I'll try and help you, just calm down please and we'll do our best. Where are you ringing from".
Spoiler:
