A man walks into a bar...

[rebbonk]

A man walks into a bar - he sits down and orders a drink. The bar man gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it said, "You really look fantastic... and that aftershave is just wonderful!"

The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes, he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "Oh my God you STINK... Do you know, you're almost as ugly as your mother!".

By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation.

"Ah yes sir," the barman responds,

Spoiler:

"The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order."