COVENTRY MESSAGE BOARD

My wife rang me earlier. "Where are you?" she screamed. "I've been stuck outside this house in the rain for an hour!" "I'm having a few beers with the lads" I said. "Well, I need you to come and open the door for me" she snapped "I've forgotten my key!&qu...

I used to date a girl that had a parrot.

Bl**dy thing never shut up.

The Man Utd team visited a children's hospital in Newcastle today.

"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,"

UK Supreme Court rules that trans women are not 'real' women.

Ain't that a kick in the *ahem*?

My daughter is almost finished revising for her GCSEs. She handed one of her revision guides and asked me to test her.

"I need to know all of this. Ask me anything."

"No problem." I smiled, opening the book to the first page.