COVENTRY MESSAGE BOARD

Over a million pounds has been spent on English courses for migrants.

Is that too much for them to learn what a multiple-choice question is and how to recognise the word labour on a ballot form?

At work, I tried to explain the concept of loaded questions, with the example of "When did you stop beating your wife?"

"I've never stopped beating my wife," said Abdul, quizzically.

My large wife passed her BGT audition singing selections from "Oliver".

Aliesha Dixon said, "We've never seen anyone singing with such passion to

People said I "took things to a level hitherto unseen" when I did a prank and shaved off my wife's eyebrows whilst she was sleeping.

She looked surprised.

My wife just complained that some guy said to her, "You could fit a bus in there, love!"